Monday, August 19, 2013

Why guys don't have cats. No, it's true, they don't.*

If you're one of the five people who follow me on Twitter, this is going to be a bit redundant, but going by the comments on the last post asking how the date went I think it's safe to say this will be new material for most of you. So how did the date go? Well let's recap...

Aside from all that (all that being him arriving 25 minutes late; being unable to navigate the two blocks from the metro to the bar without the aid of his apparently non-functioning GPS; not paying or offering to pay for my drinks; being significantly less attractive than his photo suggested; not ordering any food, leaving me gnawing on my fist in hunger), let's see, what else was there? We ended up discussing animals for quite a while (really reaching for conversational topics, there), and I mentioned that I have been volunteering at the local Humane Society. He immediately jumped to the over-population of pit bulls in the shelters here, a true enough story, and surprise surprise, he had nothing to good to say about them, aside from the usual knee-jerk stereotypes: "Well, you just never know with those dogs;" "Well, they were bred for fighting, you know..." Having already made several pretty pitty friends at the shelter this went over not-so-well with me, though rather than get into it, I hid my displeasure behind a conversational shift.

He had mentioned wanting to foster dogs (though not pit bulls, obviously), but not having the time and space to do it. "Well," I suggested, "you could foster cats." A strange look passed over his face. "Guys don't have cats," he said quickly, as if I had just suggested he might try peeing sitting down. "Some guys do," I replied. "No," he said. "I'm pretty sure that in the world, there are guys who have cats. Yes." "Well, no one I know," he replied, the same, slightly horrified look on his face suggesting he still wasn't sure if I was pulling one over on him.

After all this, he pulled the yawn-stretch, "Well, I have an early meeting tomorrow..." Yes, he said this. But only because he beat me to it. Guys, it might be time to create a new label for these posts, because dating is no longer fun or funny, and hasn't been for quite some time.

Ba dum bum.         

*This is not true.


  1. I happen to know quite a few men who live alone and have a cat. I've gone on quite a few dates where the second a guy hears I have a cat they jump to the "crazy cat lady" presumption. I have 1 cat, not 10.

  2. 25 minutes late?

    Generalised statements about men with cats?


  3. My boyfriend has two cats.

    Something that might help is to shift your perspective on "dates." I dated for a looong time and eventually, when I had plans to meet someone from online or whatever, what I thought was "I'm just going to go to a bar to chat with someone for an hour or two." (No dinner on the first meeting--too much commitment for a stranger.) The most I would hope for would be an hour or two of good conversation. No thoughts of "Is this the one? If he sucks, there is not hope for me ever!" An hour or two spent meeting someone new seemed much less laden with drama and pressure than "a date." Because, you know, 95 percent of them don't go anywhere. If there is the promise of more with a guy? Awesome! But if there's not, so what, you spent a couple hours out of the house.

    That said, he sounds like an idiot.

  4. He doesn't like pit bulls = he is not worth your time.

  5. Yup, this one is not for you. Move along.

  6. I know at least two guys who have cats. And they are fabulous guys!

  7. My husband is the one who wanted a cat. He's just a cat person (stand offish and judgmental, though he's better at hiding it than the cat, ha!). That guy sounds like a late, can't find his own door without GPS moron. Seriously. I've met guys like that recently and I always want to shout, "No I will not introduce you to my friends, there is a reason you are single!"

  8. And may I also clarify that with your wit, looks and intelligence I have never figured out why you're single? I seriously am beginning to lose faith in men (all of my single friends seem to only meet guys who are weird and don't want to actually commit to behaving like a grown man).

  9. Tell this asshat you know some 6'4 inch ex-criminal who has always had cats, right now i have 4 (though i did lobby against the last one cuz i get to clean the litter boxes all the time), that same man has eulogized his past cats on-line and that cat's are in general fucking awesome... No.1 they're independent, No. 2 they're smart and No.3 they kill for sport... even dogs don't do that...and even though i like dogs i view them like some people view children, i'm glad it's yours and you have to take it home... dogs can be a bit to much like people and we all know what i think about that species.

  10. I repeat whit Jane "He doesn't like pit bulls = he is not worth your time." and fashion survivor "he sounds like an idiot."

    Its not true man have cats and they love them... and a few are quite handsome ... ok at first my husband loved no animal his mother insist that he hates them, but that is not true, he is the one, who is taking care of our cats... and love them ... he is the one who insist to give home a dog... he can't pose 7 years long or ?