I have lost my blogging mojo. The last time I blogged was March 15, and before that it was February 15, so now for the sake of symmetry I feel like I should wait until April 15 to post this (but I won't). Yes, the only things you can be sure of in life are death, taxes, and that I am still here. Oh yes, I am still here. Awaiting the inevitable outcry--"Are you giving up on blogging?!?!" Alas, so far that particular question has only been raised by the voice in my own head. The answer? No. Maybe. No. Maybe? (It goes on and on like this forever.) The realization that even if I decide that I'm not giving up on blogging, but then I never post anything again, isn't the end result kind of the same thing? (Not with a bang but a whimper, etc.)
Where we stand is this: after so many years in flux, I am now firmly entrenched in the "real life" I have spent so long simultaneously avoiding and pursuing. I have a real job that is mostly not that bad, except when it is, which is not terribly often. I have a quirky boss with a good heart, a devious and slightly scary coworker, and the perfect lunchtime walking/venting buddy. I have a mountain of debt that is actually growing instead of shrinking, due to not being able to keep up with the interest. I learned from my online real estate course that this is known as "negative amortization." I am taking a real estate course because my boss wants me to get my real estate license and sell his properties. He says that soon my life will change, and once I have my license I will have a different work schedule, will make more money. That all sounds good to me, but it's hard to imagine a different sort of future when everything around here is still so very much the same.
I still have a cat with downy soft fur, who is never happier then when curled in a ball on my (or the nearest available) lap. (Though what she lacks in loyalty she makes up for in cuteness.) I still have a yoga membership, and slightly more toned muscles than I had nine months ago. I have miles to go before I will ever be able to put a foot behind my head, but only a few more inches to go before successfully kicking up into a handstand. I have months of warm (ok, let's face it, swampy hot) weather in front of me. The transition to summer weather this week was particularly shocking in comparison to last week, when I was walking at lunchtime and shivering in a winter coat. The temps jumped from the 40s to the 80s in a mere matter of days, seemingly skipping springtime altogether. Sometimes life is the same way. Nothing happens, and then suddenly everything happens, all at once. It's been winter for so long. All this time I've been waiting for spring, but soon, if I'm patient, maybe it will be summer.