Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Why there's more than one way to skin love a cat

Now that the Festivus season is upon us, I'd like to take this opportunity for an Airing of Grievances, specifically in regards to the worst roommate I have ever had. And I have had some doozies! Remember the guy whose parents would regularly swing by for six-week visits? Whose girlfriend seemed to be an aspiring opera singer (say it like a fortune cookie, now) in bed? Yup. This one? Worse.

My new roommate...where to start. My new roommate expects to be waited on hand and foot. I have to serve all her meals. And is she grateful? Well, I have never once heard a thank you. I wouldn't mind so much if she would just be respectful. But she's not, she's...well, she's a loud talker, for one. And she's always talking. She'll go into another room and just yell. For no reason! It's kind of psychotic, honestly. I have asked her nicely to knock it off but she acts like she can't even hear me. But I know she can! And...this is a delicate subject, but, well...when she goes to the bathroom the entire apartment smells. It's like...worse than you can possibly imagine. This happens at least twice a day. Plus, she has no boundaries. She insists on sleeping with me at night (I know, I know), and when I oblige, how does she repay me? With a 5 a.m. wakeup call every day. Serenity now!

Ok, you got me. I'm sure you figured out that I'm talking about Ellie the Cat. When I posted this video of her coming home, I had really, sincerely hoped that her meowing/yowling/crying would be limited to brief moments of displeasure, and not, like, running on a constant loop. I'll leave you to guess how that worked out. It's sort of like having a colicky baby in the house, only the baby never grows up. 

I had a bit of a venting session about it with a friend over gchat the other day:
Me: She is a bad bad kitty. I love her but she's awful.
Friend: Awwwww.
Me: She yells constantly. All the time. My neighbors probably hate me. 
Friend: She just wants to tell you what's on her mind.
Me: Sometimes it sounds like she's being murdered. Like someone's stabbing her with a knife. She's just awful. If I could send her back to where she came from...
Me: I wouldn't! I just love her so much! Damn her! And her adorable soft wittle head.
So that's about where we stand 'round these here parts. I resign myself to constant, futile cat-shushing and never getting a full night's sleep again, and in return I get the loveliest little lap lump.  

Don't be fooled by this innocent face.




I guess it's not so bad.

10 comments:

  1. She's adorable. Loud but adorable.

    ReplyDelete
  2. She's beautiful! Also, the less wet food you feed a cat, the slightly less they stink, says the owned of four house cats... (Yes, crazy, I know. Two of them are now 15.5 years old!!)

    Joy

    ReplyDelete
  3. She's so cute! I know what you mean about the ''talking''. Some breeds are just more vocal than others, and siamese are among the loudest. My Mom has 2, and they used to be very loud, but have quieted down as they got older. Cats often do well in pairs (they can comfort and entertain each other when you are gone), so she might calm down a bit if you got her a friend...just sayin'! And don't believe those cat foods that promise to 'reduce stool odour'...they don't work. My advice is to buy the best cat litter out there. I have 3 cats in an apartment, but you would never know it (from the smell, they are constantly talking so you DO know cats live there). It's a pricey bag, but honestly it means you cannot smell a thing.

    happy holidays Rachel!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, I feel bad I can't adopt a companion for her, but I just...can't. I considered adopting a pair, but my apartment, my lap, my bed, my wallet, and my patience, are all just one size too small.

      Re: smell, she has an annoying habit of not covering up her poo, like cats are apparently supposed to "instinctually" do. Not helping. Stinker.

      Delete
  4. Cats are handfuls. Sure they cuddle with you (usually) but that's because they think they own you. When G came back from Iraq and took back his side of the bed, Max liked to attack his "private area" with claws out. For reals.

    But then again they do cuddle, and Max will even rub up on Nora and let her love on him (belly exposed and all). And he rough houses with the dogs.

    Oh, and that litter problem you're having...she's not the only non-instinctual cat. And I've yet to find a solution.

    ReplyDelete
  5. She looks so much like my old cat Sylvia (named after a certain poet) that i want to cry, her obit is somewhere on the lounge, it's what you get when you get those blue-eyed eastern beauties, they like to talk and yowl and growl and chirp but man they sure do like to lay around with you and that in and of itself makes up for all the other stuff, she is one beautiful girl... and if it makes you feel any better at any given moment one of my kitties will walk around howling, usually late at night, add the two boyos to the mix and it's non-stop cacophony, wouldn't have it any other way...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Kono, I just found your Sylvia post and it was so lovely and beautiful and sad. RIP Sylvia (and her namesake).

      And looky, we both started blogging in 2007 and here we are both now still.

      Delete
  6. She so cute though! My sister in law's cat has some of the stinkiest poo ever - and on top of that he is also a bit of a loud of mouth.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is such a sweet post :-) I have two myself and my roommate has two more, making us a four cat household. We love them all!

    ReplyDelete