Monday, December 17, 2012

Why I am sure you are interesting in many positions

One more installment of too-good-to-pass-up tidbits from the Great New Hire Search 2012. Because it tickles me. Click for parts one and two.
I am interesting in the [redacted] position.
 Are you?
I have a Bachelorette Degree in Architecture.
Do you?
II am interested in applying for the Engineering Assistant III position that was recently posted on craigslist.
Uh...that's nice. Good luck to you. That's not the position we posted.
I am confident that I can effectively, professionally, and decisively perform all task and requirements of this position, and most of all I don't need this job. I want it, which is the most critical attribute that I have. I sure you have worked with people that don’t have another choice and wish they weren’t in their position, and I’m sure you’ve worked with people that love their job, there’s quite a difference in performance and morale. You should hire me, you should hire me because I am the most intelligent, versatile, and well versed/exposed candidate you have for this position. You can hire the person that has more experience, the person that's use to the routine of the environment; but, you will be hiring a robot, a person that is perpetual and not at all creative. In hiring me you will be hiring a creative person, a person that is always thinking, open to new techniques, and a person that drives toward success. If you want to hire a robot that needs this job by all means do so, but if you want to invigorate your company with a shot of fresh air, with a bright thinker open to sharing and accepting techniques and correction, who wants to be there, there is no other choice.
Uh...I pick the robot?


  1. I'd pick the robot over the "exposed candidate" any day!

  2. I completely love this stuff, not sure why. I can't believe this keeps happening! Why are there so many weird people out there? Do you think robots are (badly) generating their resumes?

  3. This is freaking hilarious. I had a fellow manager show me a resume she received stating that the candidate was a "jack of all trades but master of none."

    Who wouldn't want to hire that person? (And why would you ever think that was a selling attribute?!)