So what's up? I texted the man formerly known as my Not-So-Secret Admirer. It was his day off, and just moments prior he had confessed that he was doing "absolutely nothing." It seemed like the right time for a little talk. Do you not like me anymore? I continued, putting it all out there.
Actually I very much do, he responded a full thirty minutes later. What's new with you?
I was just picking up on some signals and wanted to clear the air, I replied.
I don't do signals, I just say what I think, he said, forty minutes later. That said, I felt really bad about you catching shit about me last week.
Ok, I said, waiting for him to elaborate.
An hour later, he still hadn't volunteered any further information, though after his last statement it really seemed like a follow-up was necessary. I had a few pointed remarks I was dying to make regarding the communication skills of a guy who supposedly "doesn't do signals" and "says what he thinks," but I held them in. And you know? I thought. He probably honestly does believe that about himself. Just like all guys, e.g.: "Deep down I'm a really good guy." "I don't play games." "There's nothing wrong with my breath." Delusional, the lot of 'em.
Instead I sent him another, pared down version of the text I really wanted to send: I guess I am still unclear as to what you are saying.
I'm not willing to let u get shit because of me, he replied.
Ok, I said. But again he ignored this, the universal signal for "please go on," or "tell me more." And that was all he wrote.
My reaction? Well I'm glad he was able to use my awkward conversation about him with my boss as a convenient excuse. Otherwise he might have had to tell me the truth. Or, you know, at least come up with a different excuse. Now, I know some of you may be tempted to take him at his word, and a commenter on the last post even predicted something similar. But honey, this ain't my first rodeo. They never tell you the truth.
And honestly, I was ok with it, for the most part. Until he posted this to Facebook today:
They got rid of Shatner as pitchman for priceline? That just ruined my day.Shatner...not on Priceline? That ruined his day?
And then, flames...flames on the...side of my face...
Does he also have strong feelings about the Travelocity gnome, I wonder? Did he shed a tear for the Taco Bell talking chihuahua? What does it take to get to this guy?!
That just ruined his day? That makes two of us.