Monday, December 5, 2011

Why I've been scrooged. Scrooged!

Only one week in and already I'm 0 for 2 in the great "Ask for What You Want" experiment.

Re: Wanting to see the Moroccan more than two or three times a month:

Him: "You will see me exactly the same amount or possibly less, and also, due to our vastly different religious beliefs, there is almost no chance of our having any kind of future together."

Me: "Did I hear an almost? I like the sound of those odds. I accept your generous offer to continue seeing each other casually when your schedule allows for it and 'see where things go.'" (I know, I know. Baby steps.)

The second part didn't even intentionally start out as "Ask For What You Want" (AFWYW), but rather as a casual question at work, namely, "Oh, hey, what days do we get off for Christmas?"

Answer: "What day is Christmas this year? Sunday? So, none, then. None days."

Me: "Um?"

"Oh, and New Year's Day is also a Sunday, huh? Yeah, that's too bad." 

I was tempted to quit right then out of protest, and also spite (so much spite!), for this and numerous other indignities, but, you know. (Homelessness not being on my wish list this year.) And so I stay.

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas this year is a better job and a boy who will want to see me as often as two times a week, and maybe introduce me to his friends. But I don't want to ask for too much. I would settle for winning the lottery. 


About to Join the Occupy Wall Street Protesters, or a Convent        


  1. I hear what you're saying, Rach! And I am incensed on your behalf that you don't get a Christmas break - seems pretty harsh to me. Your Moroccan sounds like a Muslim Turkish chap I 'saw' for a while - my 'Turkish Delight'. Lol. He just really was too different in every way he viewed life. Just a reality.

  2. Oh please, please give that bloke the BOOT!!!!! And chalk it up as a narrow escape. He is being honest when he says your religions will mean you have no future together. In other words "it's great being able to sleep with a loose Western girl, but there's no chance I'd marry her - I'll have a nice timid obedient virgin, thank you very much". As for not having a day in lieu of Christmas Day being on a Sunday, who on earth are you working for - a slave camp?

  3. He strikes me as being far too narrow minded for you, and selfish. He doesn't deserve you.

  4. OK, I feel bad and all that this shit has befallen you, but even in your disappointed state, you're still funny. I laughed out loud at "None days."

  5. They both -- the Moroccan and the Scrooge -- sound so controlling and entitled. I'm not a fan of either -- the person or the personality trait.

    But it was a good week -- you met G. :)

  6.'s time to dump his Moroccan ass. He threw the word "almost" in there precisely because he knew it would keep you around. Seriously, walk away. He's flat out stated that he's not interested in anything long-term with you, but he's getting sex, so he's not going to leave, and I guarantee he's actively looking for someone else. Don't try to convince yourself that you'll change him.

    Also, your work sucks. I wish I could send you one of my days off.

  7. Drop the boy. Keep the job (at least until you can find something better). But definitely drop the boy.

  8. Wait, I think it is working! Now at least you know where you stand with the Morrocan and there's no more pussyfooting around.

    With the work thing, that is just kind of terrible. I had a job in a call-center that was exactly the same (we technically didn't get any days off for Thanksgiving so you had to take a day) so maybe you can ask for one day off? Perhaps the 26th so you can post-Christmas lounge and enjoy.

    At my job earlier this year, New Years fell on Saturday. We were allowed to leave a little early on New Years Eve (3PM, instead of 6) and were told that we had the 3rd (following Monday) off instead. On December 30th, my CEO sent out an email declaring that the previous schedule was incorrect and we were all expected to be there on the 3rd and if we weren't, we would be fired. So yeah, jobs and bosses are just assholes.

  9. Yeah, he's done. I am very pro Ask for What You Want, but part of it is accepting that you might not get it. The good thing is that there will be another guy coming along soon. Don't make a face. You're young! I'm older than you and I don't despair.

  10. What's missing in the "ask for what you want" conversation is: WHOM are you asking?

    Those who want to please you but don't know how until you inform them are likely to give you what you want. Those who don't care are not. So asking is just part of the equation.


  11. Sweetie, do you still believe that this is not due to religious and linguistic differences? Please, please drop him like a lot potato even if the casual Doritos are great. You will be one who ends up hurt in the long run, not him. I come from a country where nearly 20% of the populace follows Islam, and I have witnessed the same story with a myriad number of horrible endings to see anything positive in keeping this relationship alive.

  12. Rachel, if you believe in your heart that this guy is not committing to you and has no plans to commit to you in the future, do not waste your time.

    I don't know what his reasons are for not being able to see you as often as you'd like, but if you think he's just making excuses, do not waste your time.

    But, DO explain to him that you're looking for a future, and if that's not what he's looking for, there is no damned point to having your time wasted. I mean, you can do it in a way where it's not a ultimatum, but rather a calm discussion of "are we even close to the same page here?"

    I know I said before that relationships aren't as easy as some people have said, but they also shouldn't be a long, drawn-out visit to the fricking dentist, either.

  13. I'm gonna tell you something... there is no Santa Claus... and i could tell you exactly what the shady Moroccan is doing but late at night when you stay at the ceiling you already know.

  14. I 14th the other commenters - get rid of this guy. Who knows what better opportunities you might be missing if you let the Morrocan continue to string you along?

  15. Agreed!!! Get rid of The Moroccan, it looks like he is not ready for a commitment.

  16. You don't get Monday or Friday off? That SUUUUCCCKKSSS! Not sure what you do, but that's totally not fair. Urgh