Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Why are you so angry, men of the "manosphere?"

Dear Manosphere Haters,

I really think we may have gotten off on the wrong foot, here. So, hi. I'm Rachel. Nice to meet you. (Not really, but we may as well all be polite here, no? Which is more than I can say about you.) 

Now, I know what you have been saying about me, and I have to say, a lot of it hasn't been very nice. But, no matter. Clearly, the Internet is not a forum for people to be nice to each other; it's for expressing your opinions! Of which you have so, so many. Or really, just one opinion, expressed over and over in a virtual shouting match, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. The thing is, you are making this into an Us vs. Them, when I really think we could all be on the same page, here. What I mean is, I am single and bitter, and clearly a majority of you are also single and just as bitter. Can't we all just be bitter together? Because, look, some of the things you are saying, I agree with. Like, for example, when you say that I am 29 and still single. Horrors! Ok, actually, I have to admit, I don't totally agree with that. I wish I did, but this is what happens when you show up two whole years late to the party. So. Hi. My name is Rachel. I'm 31, and I'm single. Can we all agree to that? Yes, I think we can. Look at us all, agreeing! Truly the Internet is a wonderful thing.

So, look, I realize the mere fact that I am 31 and single and a woman is personally offensive to many of you, for reasons I am only beginning to try to understand. But if I am going to try to understand you, I hope you will try to understand me, too. I know it's hard, because as a woman I am completely irrational. (Giggle giggle, eyelash flutter.) But let's still try to understand each other. Please know that me being single has nothing to do with you, either individually or as a sex. I don't hate you, and I don't hate men. (If I suspected that most men were as bitter and hate-filled as I've witnessed some of you be, I might have to reconsider my position, but as it is I still have a modicum of faith in the fundamental decency of malekind. Please don't prove me wrong.) Yes, I am still single at an age that apparently many people would be more comfortable with me being firmly settled down and breeding. But look, if I had kids I would just raise them liberal, and I have a sneaking suspicion that many of you would have just as big a problem with that, and so perhaps we can all once again agree that me not having children is actually for the best in that sense, no? So, yes, as I said, I am 31 and single (although you can all keep calling me 29 and single, if it floats your boat; I'm not going to stop you). But it's not because I "rode the c*ck carousel," and it's not because I "chased a career" (ha! And this is how I know none of you have ever read my blog before. Is there a support group for 31-year-old Professional Fuck-ups?), and it's not because I rejected the oh-so-many offers of marriage I received in my younger and "cuter" years (seriously, you guys kill me with your very generous assumptions). No, it's not any of that. Instead, the reason I am single is probably very similar to the reason a lot of you are (clearly) single--a combination of bad luck and worse timing. Sometimes things work out. Sometimes they don't, eh? Sometimes they work out sooner, and sometimes later. Maybe they don't ever work out, although we all hope that isn't the case. Does that really make me a "c*nt" and a "pretentious vain-glory harridan?" Really? (Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?)

You are clearly talking about someone in your hate-filled rants, but here's the thing: you're not actually talking about me. You can quote me out of context, and you can use the basic (and largely incorrect) biographical details of my life that I have willingly shared to burn me in effigy. Because you need a target for your anger, and I get that. (But from whence comes this anger? Can we discuss? Do you need a hug? A cookie?) But I cannot and do not represent all women, just as all of you (hopefully, please god) do not represent all men. I mean, I am sorry if some girl somewhere rejected you; I feel for you, I really do. I've been there! But you don't have to vilify every other woman in the world for it. Or maybe you do, what do I know about things like feelings and emotions? I am just a woman, after all.

I hope you find your peace, woman haters. At least have a cookie.    


  1. Forrest Gump says that sometimes there just aren't enough rocks. I'm worried that in your case there just might not be enough cookies!

  2. On behalf of the more clueless members of my sex, I apologize. Based on everything I've read here, you're quite amazing and certainly don't deserve to be the object of such scorn. As far as I can tell, you're perceptive, witty, thoughtful, playful, affectionate, and very articulate. Not to mention hot.

    My theory for your singleness is that the combination of the above-listed traits is much rarer in real life (and real people) than one might guess from reading fiction or watching movies (especially romantic comedies). Which unfortunately means you're just so far to the right on the quality bell-curve that there just aren't that many men out there who can match you. Ironically, it's the price you pay for being exceptional.

    - West Coast Member of the Manoverse

  3. A c*ck carousel? That sounds like way more fun than I ever had dating.

    Miss ya lady. Sorry times are rough. Austin is a good city for livimg in...

  4. I have a PHD in Professional Fuck-Up so maybe we could start our own support group. You used the words C*ck Carousel... it's official, i think i love you.

    Oh yeah and i'm happy to see someone is enjoying the lovely Kono-Gulf music site.

  5. Hi Rachel, I would also like to apologize on behalf the arrogant pricks and haters of my gender. I don't think you deserve any of the hate that has been spouted at you (or "you" as the case may be). You seem like a caring, decent, funny, fun-loving, independent, and beautiful woman.

    It sounds to me like you've experienced more than your fair of bad luck and bad timing. I hope it turns around for you.

    Keep the faith...there are some exceptional males out there. As Anonymous said, you're so far up the exceptional scale the pool is smaller...but it exists.

    Canada doesn't seem to have the same number of haters...or we're too busy apologizing to each other that we don't notice...

  6. I do not get all the hate, at all. But I guess I am one of those emotional women you speak of - I am horrified on your behalf.

  7. Who are these guys that said horrible things to you? I think i've missed something!
    Anyhow, what they said to you sounds awfully familiar to a despicable blog I can't help reading: Roosh V!

  8. Sweet baby jesus that is an ugly piece of the internet. I'm sorry.

  9. I love this open letter. We should tell dateme to send us that pic of the little c*ck she had in her phone and you can use it as a standard response tool.

    after every assholio comment just post that pic and write: I'd be pissed too!

  10. Seriously, why in the eyes of these men are there only two options? Either you were so slutty even the hookers on New York Avenue were like, "whoa, take it easy," or you castrated men for a living. Those are apparently the only viable reasons you could still be single.

    Frankly, I've met you, and you're smart, interesting, fun and have model proportions (seriously, what are you, like 5'10" and 110 pounds?) so men out there, believe me when I say you're way off base with this one.

  11. West Coast Member of the Manoverse--Aw, shucks. :)

    Kono--We shall have meetings every Thursday.

    Elliott--I have been on two dates now with a Canadian gentleman and he is every bit as nice and polite as the stereotypes indicate.

    The Chaser--Bwahaha! Brilliant.

    DateMeDC--You flatter me. And thanks. :)

  12. MGTOW here.

    They don't hate you and they weren't ranting. They were laughing. Their posts were written in elation because they have gone their own way. They don't care about fitting women's standards. They don't care about starting families. They sure as hell don't want to get married. They've left it all behind. They read what you wrote, laugh, and say, "Not my problem."

    When I see the articles in the mainstream media about men not "manning up" or hear women complain about being single or see some poor man looking defeated with his fat wife and mini-van full of shrieking children I can only chuckle. Because I see the burdens that other men carry that I have rejected. I feel a sense of great freedom because I know I can choose not to deal with all the crap that other people do.

    And now the MGTOWs are making fun of you because you reacted.

  13. I Am Jack's Man Going His Own WayOctober 11, 2011 at 6:46 PM

    What you experienced wasn't actually hate directed towards you, it was resentment. This resentment was for the system that's been set up against men in western society. I like to deal case by case and, unfortunately, I will have to generalize but, for any woman to ask a man why he's angry at that system is like a cheater asking "why do you feel cheated?" Maybe you aren't one of those women that will take a man to the cleaners after filing no fault divorce because you're bored with him but, then again, maybe you are. Men have been reduced to using the female defensive mechanism of general demonizing of the opposite sex because we really don't know what that woman is all about until the time comes for her to be about it. We've literally been backed into a corner today so, it should be no surprise that we go after the first thing that moves and you moved with that article.

    I'm not particularly angry at anything personally, I've never had to pay undue alimony/child support or had a false rape claim levied upon me but I'm aware that things like that exist in society and that disturbs me to no end and I'm doing everything in my power to stop it at this stage in my life. I've also grown weary with what a man has to do to attract a woman these days by acting out of character as if I'm some sort of "alpha male," who aren't true alpha males, just to get a woman to look at me. Being a kind man has become a social stigma as if there's something wrong with me for lending a helping hand to someone who needs it and God forbid that I help a woman, I'm forever a second class citizen in her eyes or at best a target to get money out of.

    Also, if I am angry, maybe you should ask the feminist dogs why I am? Ask them why I'm a rapist just become I'm a man. Ask them why I hold women back despite the fact that I'm just trying to live my own life and not bother anyone else? Ask them why they've brought society's advancements to a stand still. It hasn't even been a century since we've developed nuclear power but there hasn't been anything else except for maybe the PlayStation and iPhone since the feminist movement began and I want my flying car. You can have everything else, just give me my flying car.

    Remember, no one is angry at you for being single, it's unfortunate if you are and your goal is the opposite. We resented that you, a woman that has more opportunities at what the feminist movement would have you think is happiness, were complaining about your lot in life. That's like telling a paraplegic person how much your feet hurt.

  14. Another MGTOW here.

    Google Misandry bubble and marriage strike and you will understand why so many men are choosing to stay single and avoid women and waiting for VR and robogirls. We don't hate women, but we hate being oppressed by women so we are liberating ourselves and living our lives single.

  15. Congratulations, 31 and still not married. May you have many more years of exploring the dating market and enjoying the dating experience.

    I however am not masochistic enough to enjoin in that experience, and prefer to live a relaxed life dedicated to physical culture and scholarly pursuits.

    So, I likes me the MGTOW.

  16. From the one who called you arrogant...

    No I don't hate you. In fact, I don't know you well enough to hate you. But you are like most other women and that presents issues, especially given what I have read on this blog. And you presented yourself as a target, so here we are.

    The issue at hand though is generally how women are and specifically YOU (yes all of that thread addresses YOU). You are not unlike other women in that you are indeed arrogant and you made it your point to prove it. Given the position you are in as a woman when it comes to the dating market and the other attributes you have (it is indeed like complaining around a paraplegic that your feet hurt), it really and truly never is a "combination of bad luck and worse timing". In the dating marketplace, women are the sellers and men are the ones propositioning to buy. And putting my personal dating views aside for the moment, plenty WOULD buy. You are just setting the price too high.

    Speaking of reading your blog back a little bit I've never witnessed you asking questions that indicate you are looking in a mirror when you are thinking of them. In fact, one person did give you this advice already. Stop thinking and writing "woe is me" and be positive! Start thinking about what you can offer to a man (and no your career and sexual history isn't valid) and how to improve upon that and set out to do it. There is always some deficiency somewhere if what you are selling is not being bought. Put the best Rachel out there at the right price and you'll have a husband in no time, if that's what you are wanting out of life.

    Indeed that is what most of those that identify with MGTOW are doing. Focusing on living the best life they can and improving themselves in the best way possible. Given that, most all have met and personally dealt with too many women like you and have concluded that women are not a worthy part of a "best life". After all, arrogance and negativity (*) isn't attractive in anyone. Coupled with the wisdom of seeing in relationships and marriage how the whole thing is made into a perilous raw deal by women and governments. Some have experience and some only witness it, but the raw deal is where the anger comes from.

    It really just isn't worth it.

    * - one can go no farther than your profile page to find this: "And, as I tend to do after lying in bed awake for over four hours, my mind drifted back to the past, to the guys I once knew, and the myriad ways each and every one of them had jerked me around and broken my heart." How many men are going to read that in your blog and want to take a chance on you? If a man wrote that about women, would you find that attractive, Rachel?

  17. Hey there sweetheart. No hate here. Just a piece of advice - you need to find a man with some money and quick. At 31, you are about to begin that steep decline in looks. In another 4 years or so, your sexual market value will be zero. 35 year old women are not often very attractive. You need to lock up a man now. Best of luck.

  18. Apparently 27 through 31 weren't such attractive years for me either, so I'm going to need all the luck I can get! Thanks!