Saturday, February 19, 2011

Why sometimes it pours

Recently, at the apartment complex where I work, I helped a resident who had acquired a roommate transfer from a one-bedroom to a two-bedroom apartment. I showed him the two-bedroom and worked with him and his new roommate at the lease signing. "That is one good-looking boy," my boss mentioned at the office one day after he came by with some forms. 

"Oh yes," I agreed. "That's true. But," and here I gave a small sigh of disappointment, "he's just a little too short." My boss, being shorter than I (and married), disagreed. "His roommate, on the other hand, is super tall," I continued. "It's like, together they're the perfect guy."

This got me thinking, though. Hypothetically, which is the more important quality in a guy? I mean, smart, kind, sense of humor, blah blah blah, but on a purely superficial level, does tall or cute matter more? I've always been of the opinion that tall covers a multitude of sins. But then again, cute covers a multitude of sins, too. And really, it was a ridiculous debate in the first place. I mean, how many times do you find yourself having to decide between two guys, let alone one tall guy and one cute guy. I mean, maybe you have, but it's happened to me--wait, let me count--never. And maybe that's why I allowed myself to dwell on the idea; because it was so preposterous.

Then last night towards the end of my shift at work, the office door opened. "Hello," someone called out from the entryway. "Honey, I'm home," another voice joked, and then there they were, standing in my office--tall and cute.

"Oh, hey guys," I said, smiling. "What can I do for you?"

 "We're here for the mail key," one said.

"Sure, I'll go get it for you," I said.

From the key closet, I heard a whispered consultation on the other side of the wall.

Then, "So, Rachel," one of them said, "are you going to Winter Fest tomorrow?" 

Casual. Nonchalant. Nothing to freak out about here. "What's Winter Fest?" I said, exiting the closet.

"There's a chili fest tomorrow on the Commons. They'll have food and stuff."

"Oh, Chili Fest," I said. "That's tomorrow, huh? I actually have a crazy day tomorrow. I have to get up at 5:30 and drive to Smyracuse to take a test."

"What's the test for?"

"Oh, to get certified to teach. French."

"You want to teach?" "You speak French?" They interrupted each other with their questions, both speaking at the same time. I tried and failed to stop the warmth from flushing into my face at this unexpected attention. 

"Umm, yeah, I'm doing my student teaching right now."

"Oh, where?" "What grade?" they both spoke again, their questions overlapping, competing with each other.

"Middle school," I said, smiling.

"How long is the test?" one asked.

"Hopefully not that long," I said. "So...maybe I'll come downtown after." An awkward pause ensued, and to end it I handed over the key I was still holding. It seemed that an abrupt and awkward exit would soon be in order if I didn't do something.

"Here, why don't you guys have a seat," I said, "and I'll make you a mailbox label." We sat and the tension eased immediately.

"All I know about chili fests is from that Simpsons episode," I said, typing out the label. "Where Homer eats the really hot chili pepper?"

"Oh right," the tall one said. "And he goes on like an acid trip and goes into the desert and talks to the fox."

"Yeah!" I said, laughing.

 The cute one had never seen it. "There's a Simpsons episode about the Mythaca Chili Fest?" he asked, confused.

"Um, no," the tall one explained. "Just...a chili fest."

"Oh," the cute one said. "Right."

"Here you go," I said, handing over the label. "So, maybe I'll see you tomorrow then. And you guys will just be...down there?"

"Yeah, we'll be down there," one said. "Well, here," the tall one said. "I'll just write down my phone number for you, and that way you can find us..."

 "Ok," I said, handing him a yellow sticky.

"Well, maybe I'll just write down my phone number too," the cute one said, smiling cutely. "Just in case..."

"Ok, great," I said, looking down at the yellow sticky in my hand. "Thanks."

 After they left and the door closed, I laughed out loud, and reached for my phone to send a text to my boss. Though she's married with kids, she is actually my age, and would appreciate something like this, I knew. "The thing is," I concluded, thumbs tapping, "I'm not actually sure who asked me out!"

I hit send and looked again at the yellow sticky on my desk. Kevin. Luke.

To be continued...


  1. awesome. They both did.
    now it's up to you to get to know them and go from there. lol

    Cute story.

  2. Double cute! Well, single cute and single tall... but the story is doubley cute!

  3. Oh that's fantastic. I was smiling and thinking, "well, damn, who will she choose?"

    Oh, and I'm 5'8 1/2" exact, and I've gone out with a guy who was 5'5" before. It's awkward at first, it just sort of depends on the guy. The one I dated was super confident in himself, had dated a woman who was 6', and didn't see it as anything to write home about.

  4. Oh, and, um....nope, the gym did not go well after drinking bubbly on an empty stomach. I might have been intoxicated at noon. So I weighed in and left the building. :)

  5. Threesome! Ooops did I just say that out loud?!

    Looking forward to hearing what happened next!

    Rapunzel x
    *Tales from the Tower*

    ps Loving your comment on my blog. Everyone else is presuming they know what he means whereas you haven't jumped to any such conclusions!!!

  6. I LOVE short guys. Just sayin'. I used to date a guy who was three inches shorter than me. As long as they don't have hangs ups about being shorter than you, it's cool.

  7. I love how you so cool-headedly handled the situation! I would have probably freaked out and got no date at all.

  8. Cute story! See how it pans out and do with the flow. Enjoy! (My perference is for short and cute, but then I'm pretty short... :-))

  9. love this! I'm dying to hear the next installment.

    And I'm 5'3" so finding guys taller than me isn't a problem but I think height is important.

    So go hang out with them and see what develops. Then make sure to fill us in!

  10. Is the cute one named luke? and the tall one kevin?

    anyway, I am so excited to hear the next instalment of chilli fest.


    Ok more seriously --

    In my opinion: the only thing that matters about a man is how he makes you feel. I don't mean in the boudoir. I mean everywhere, all the time. When you are with him... and also when you are NOT with him. Do you feel secure, comfortable, cared about, admired? Do you feel attractive, liked, appreciated? Do you enjoy yourself, do you NOT have to worry about saying or doing the wrong thing all the time? When he says he'll call you, are you confident bc he does call you? If he does something or doesn't, do you know you can say "Hey what was that?" and get a real response? Does he ignore you, play games, say one thing but do another, do you feel insecure or uncertain? When you are not with him do you wonder who is he with and why is he not with you?

    What he looks like, what he does for a living, his height, weight, looks, amount of hair, the coolness of his shoes -- all secondary. How do you feel about yourself when you are with him and also not with him? To my mind, "cuteness" and "tallness" obscure the more important aspects of the man.

    It is great if he is cute AND tall, but frosting on a shit cupcake doesn't matter... bc who wants a shit cupcake?

    They both sound cute to me and I hope you see them and enjoy yourself.


  12. To go with the Simpsons theme: Everything's comin' up Milhouse!

    I'm excited for you. Chili fest should be fun. It's always nice to get some attention.

  13. Did either of them have metal teeth? Because that's a fucking dealbreaker.

  14. I'm hoping you haven't written your next post because you've been having so much fun with these feollows - and when you do post is will be a doozie!

  15. Sarah--Oh, I wish that were the case. I haven't posted anything new because I'm très busy, but not for any fun reasons, unfortunately.

    And Rassles--Sometimes I just idea. But thanks for the advice. :)

  16. Have you noticed i've been eerily silent on these happenings?

  17. Yes. But why, is the question? (No, really, why? Do you know something I don't? Please, a guy's perspective would be much appreciated here.)