Friday, January 21, 2011

Why I'm not cleaning again until 2012

You'd think that what with all this free time on my hands (ahh, winter break), I would be the most in-shape person with the cleanest house in the history of ever. At least, that is what I would assume I would do with my time if I were bored, which I am, frequently, instead of sitting on the couch watching tv and eating bon bons, which is how I've actually been spending my time. You think I'm kidding?
Way back in mid-December, in the midst of end-of-semester angst, I scoffed at the idea of bored. Bored, pshaw! mid-December said to January me. If you're bored, just clean something. If you're bored go to yoga. Go to the gym. In fact, I command you to!

Well. I don't know how many of you are fellow central New York Staters, but the weather conditions lately do not exactly encourage leaving the house. If not for my part-time job I probably wouldn't leave the house at all. In fact, this week, when I didn't have to work? I didn't leave the house for two days. I didn't change out of my pajamas for two days. Should I not advertise that? I did shower. I am not an animal

So, ok, you say, no going outside. In which case your house should be spotless, right? And, I'll admit, I did let things go for a little while. But I have to add a caveat here to say that for me, "letting things go" only approaches the cleaner end of other people's normal. I am a pretty clean person. But the last couple weeks, I let the bathroom counters get a bit grungy. The kitchen counters too. The sink. The stove. Still, not really a big deal. But.

But. I have one, shameful housekeeping secret. Since moving into this apartment, I have never mopped. Not once. Not the living room, not the bathroom, and definitely not the kitchen. Internet, I moved in here in August. The first of August. That is over five and a half months of never once pushing around a damp rag on the floor. When I moved in, a Swiffer mop was propped casually against the kitchen wall. Hint, hint, it seemed to say. Yes, I will definitely do that soon, I thought to myself. And, well. I mean, I would have, but the floor just never seemed that dirty. Such is the beauty of brown, wood kitchen floors, I guess. And, it's not like I never cleaned it. I would run a vacuum over it when I did the rest of the house, and if I spilled something I would usually wipe it up. But I just never got around to mopping. But that, I decided, would change, if only to have something really boring to blog about.

So, I took some before shots...             

...and went to work. This is what the Swiffer looked like after I had finished mopping my entire never-been-mopped-in-five-months-if-not-longer kitchen and living room:
Even I was surprised at how seemingly little I had accomplished. Does this mean I win?

And then the after shots:

I think we all know the moral of this story: never clean.

8 comments:

  1. One does not Swiffer and call it moping whoops i mean mopping. You use a bucket and a mop and warm water and maybe even Murphy's Oil soap. Aren't you and i the hellraisers this friday night.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You would know if you *really* needed to mop. I just did the whole bucket of water/Murphy's Oil soap/waxing nonsense on some of the wood floors at the new house we're moving into. Words cannot describe the filth. *shudder*

    I'm glad I'm not the only one having a thoroughly exciting Friday night. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Huh. Well in that case I guess I've never mopped anything in my whole life then. Good to know.

    And yes, we are some Friday night party animals, aren't we?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Clearly, you are very clean. I mop our hard floors every week and that's terrifying stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have similar floors throughout my entire house, and like you, I vacuum them regularly and clean up any spills immediately. Then I use my Swiffer WetJet on them maybe twice a year. There are two of us living here, and that seems to be often enough!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have an aversion to the vacuum and to the mop. I am not cut out for that kind of labour - but give me some bleach and some hot water and I'll go to town a bathroom.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, MUCH better.

    M.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oooh, I see a glossy after!

    Um, yeah, our dark wood floors hide a multitude of sins. With two dogs I should be mopping with bleach daily, but let's face it, who has time for that? (or gives enough of a shit to want to do it?)

    That said mopping is on my to do list this week if I can manage it without falling and killing myself. Keeping positive.

    ReplyDelete