Friday, January 21, 2011

Why I'm not cleaning again until 2012

You'd think that what with all this free time on my hands (ahh, winter break), I would be the most in-shape person with the cleanest house in the history of ever. At least, that is what I would assume I would do with my time if I were bored, which I am, frequently, instead of sitting on the couch watching tv and eating bon bons, which is how I've actually been spending my time. You think I'm kidding?
Way back in mid-December, in the midst of end-of-semester angst, I scoffed at the idea of bored. Bored, pshaw! mid-December said to January me. If you're bored, just clean something. If you're bored go to yoga. Go to the gym. In fact, I command you to!

Well. I don't know how many of you are fellow central New York Staters, but the weather conditions lately do not exactly encourage leaving the house. If not for my part-time job I probably wouldn't leave the house at all. In fact, this week, when I didn't have to work? I didn't leave the house for two days. I didn't change out of my pajamas for two days. Should I not advertise that? I did shower. I am not an animal

So, ok, you say, no going outside. In which case your house should be spotless, right? And, I'll admit, I did let things go for a little while. But I have to add a caveat here to say that for me, "letting things go" only approaches the cleaner end of other people's normal. I am a pretty clean person. But the last couple weeks, I let the bathroom counters get a bit grungy. The kitchen counters too. The sink. The stove. Still, not really a big deal. But.

But. I have one, shameful housekeeping secret. Since moving into this apartment, I have never mopped. Not once. Not the living room, not the bathroom, and definitely not the kitchen. Internet, I moved in here in August. The first of August. That is over five and a half months of never once pushing around a damp rag on the floor. When I moved in, a Swiffer mop was propped casually against the kitchen wall. Hint, hint, it seemed to say. Yes, I will definitely do that soon, I thought to myself. And, well. I mean, I would have, but the floor just never seemed that dirty. Such is the beauty of brown, wood kitchen floors, I guess. And, it's not like I never cleaned it. I would run a vacuum over it when I did the rest of the house, and if I spilled something I would usually wipe it up. But I just never got around to mopping. But that, I decided, would change, if only to have something really boring to blog about.

So, I took some before shots...             

...and went to work. This is what the Swiffer looked like after I had finished mopping my entire never-been-mopped-in-five-months-if-not-longer kitchen and living room:
Even I was surprised at how seemingly little I had accomplished. Does this mean I win?

And then the after shots:

I think we all know the moral of this story: never clean.


  1. One does not Swiffer and call it moping whoops i mean mopping. You use a bucket and a mop and warm water and maybe even Murphy's Oil soap. Aren't you and i the hellraisers this friday night.

  2. You would know if you *really* needed to mop. I just did the whole bucket of water/Murphy's Oil soap/waxing nonsense on some of the wood floors at the new house we're moving into. Words cannot describe the filth. *shudder*

    I'm glad I'm not the only one having a thoroughly exciting Friday night. :)

  3. Huh. Well in that case I guess I've never mopped anything in my whole life then. Good to know.

    And yes, we are some Friday night party animals, aren't we?

  4. Clearly, you are very clean. I mop our hard floors every week and that's terrifying stuff.

  5. I have similar floors throughout my entire house, and like you, I vacuum them regularly and clean up any spills immediately. Then I use my Swiffer WetJet on them maybe twice a year. There are two of us living here, and that seems to be often enough!

  6. I have an aversion to the vacuum and to the mop. I am not cut out for that kind of labour - but give me some bleach and some hot water and I'll go to town a bathroom.

  7. Oh, MUCH better.


  8. Oooh, I see a glossy after!

    Um, yeah, our dark wood floors hide a multitude of sins. With two dogs I should be mopping with bleach daily, but let's face it, who has time for that? (or gives enough of a shit to want to do it?)

    That said mopping is on my to do list this week if I can manage it without falling and killing myself. Keeping positive.