Monday, December 20, 2010

Why I'm not a superfreak

Oh, why, hello! Are you still there? If so, why? It's true I've been a tad neglectful lately, leaving you for days on end with tales of nose-biting and empty fluff as filler. I've been waiting out the semester as it wheezed its last, dying gasp. And it's true what they say, you know, about how the semester ends: not with a bang but a whimper. And now, finally, the pages of my day planner are marvelously, refreshingly white and clean, much like the newly fallen snow outside, and I find I have nothing in particular to do, and nowhere pressing to go. I've always been slow to catch on to transitions, however, and so I find myself wandering around my house in a muddled haze, sure that there must be something I am forgetting to do. And then, finally, I remembered--blog! Yes, I have a blog! So what shall I blog about today, self? The exciting adventures of how I went to get an oil change and absolutely nothing of consequence happened? No, perhaps not, then. How about the time I sold back my textbooks to a guy in a tent (which should have been my first clue), and then later stupidly realized that I could have traded them in on Amazon for, oh, roughly 150% more American dollars than tent huckster ended up giving me? No, not scintillating enough for you? Man, you people are tough. Alright, how about this: later, I plan to make muffins. Muffins, people!


But wait--they're cranberry. Cranberry muffins. No, still not good enough for you? I give up.

Ok, look, here is what I was about to subject myself to for your amusement, people. So, you remember this video, right? I figured if Ally McBeal could be a superfreak, in all her spastic, skinny glory, then there was no reason why I couldn't either, right? This is how much I love all of you, because I was planning to post a video of myself dancing, on the Internet, for all to see. And I had every intention of actually doing it, too. Until, you know. I viewed the evidence. Which shall be destroyed, obviously. Here were some initial thoughts:
  1. This song is really hard to dance to, guys. Surprisingly hard.
  2. I hate my stupid hair.
  3. Oh my god, that...right there...I have no words.
  4. How did Calista Flockhart make this look so easy? It is not easy, people. It is not.
And some closing words of wisdom to my future self: Never do that again. And fix your hair. Gah.

And so, sadly, I do not have a video to post for you today. Against my better judgment I haven't entirely given up on it altogether, though. In the immortal words of Ally McBeal, "I'm practicing." But I'm still not convinced it can be done. I tell you what, though, maybe a little moral support would help. A little solidarity, you know? I'm throwing out the challenge right now; if just one of you guys makes your own Superfreak dance video and links to it here, I promise I will post one of me doing something (I hesitate to call it dancing), no matter how ridiculous it looks. Pinky promise. 

Lights, dow dow dow...da dow...da dow. Get ready to get your groove on, people (da dow...da dow...


  1. Welcome back!
    Congrats on finishing the semester in one piece and bits of your brain in tact.

    Merry Christmas & Happy New Years!

  2. It can't be any worse than nose biting! C'mon--woman up!

  3. I've posted some videos of me dancing - granted not to could take some inspiration from LIttle Miss Sunshine?

    It'll be magical I promise. I pinky promise to laugh with you - not at you.

    And if you don't like your hair you can always cut your hair out of the shot.

  4. i'm not a 30 yr old female and i don't really get the Ally McBeal thing, the show annoyed me really, but i'm guessing it's like my relationship to Breaking Bad, how i'd be a kick ass meth dealer if only i knew chemistry and shit, i could be wrong on all this though...

  5. Merry Christmas Charlie Brown!!!

  6. Kono, I never thought I would see the day when you would use one exclamation point, let alone three.

    Merry almost Christmas to all!!!