Saturday, September 25, 2010

Why with Power(Point) comes responsibility

How to guarantee that an entire room full of people will want to kill you in 60 minutes or less:

Create an hour-long PowerPoint presentation where every single blessed action is punctuated by a sound effect. Heading? Ding. Bullet point? Ding. New slide? Shutter click. So that your soporific voice is accompanied by the sounds of click, ding. Ding, ding, ding. Ding.  Ding!       DING!!!       For sixty goddamn minutes.

Look, screw you, man. How do you not understand that this is not ok? How is this not annoying the living hell out of you? After all, you are also in this room. You are also, as far as I can tell, not deaf. Although you are, apparently, blind to cringing, eye rolling, and all manner of dramatic displays of frustration.

Oh, and also? When you use the video projector, move your goddamn hand out of the way. Do not point, do not tap, and do not gesture near the camera so that a three-foot high, bloated, disembodied hand flits insistently and seizure-inducingly across the projection screen. 

And you are a teacher? With twenty years of experience, really? For shame, sir, for shame. Because when you are speaking at a five-hour conference, on a Saturday--a conference that many attendees were forced to attend against their will, I should add, and which required them to get out of bed at 6:30 a.m., on a Saturday--and for which the only refreshment offered was a measly piece of too-sweet coffee cake, and you are the last session of the day and thus the only thing standing between me and my lunch (not provided)--well sir, you are lucky you got out of there with your life.

What was the session about, you may ask? I DON'T EVEN KNOW. 

So that was my Saturday. How was yours?



  1. Well, mine was good thanks. :-) Went out for lunch with a friend. Actually, I had earache but I think it still would have been better than your day!

  2. Ugh, wow - that sounds like an INTENSELY annoying (swish) powerpoint presentation (ding).

    My saturday was good thanks (whoosh). I went to yoga and watched the grand final of Aussie rules football with the boy (BAM!)

  3. My Saturday? 11 hours in the car (2of which were in bumper-to-bumper Parisian traffic) coming back from my holiday in the south of France. Oh, and the dog threw up at least 3times in the back seat.

    I win.

  4. I worked all day and then made fried chicken. It was good (the chicken, not work).

  5. This is why i have a job and not a "career", my saturday? Italian food festival in my hood, me and Kid A and Kid B macking much pasta,cookies, pizza, lemonade, all made by little old Italian ladies. So yeah my saturday sucked too.

  6. Oh my god, what a nightmare! I hope there was a feedback sheet at the end where you could suggest somewhere he could shove his cutesy noises.

  7. Megan--There was! And oh, yes, I did. :)

  8. I love the title of this one. So true. My pp's are the most boring things in the world, however...I barely can bother to animate them!

  9. I just stumbled across your blog...and it is so GREAT! You are too funny. Can't wait for the meantime I will get caught up!


  10. Thanks for following Georgia's simply pretty things. I am your new follower :).

    This made me rofl. haha. I normally always put my hand in the air and comment on stuff like that. My boyfriend says I am really polite until someone needs to be rude then I'm straight there. Its an excellent trait to have :p.