Whenever I haven't posted in a long time, you can rest assured it's not because I'm having so much fun. I will always find time to tell you about fun. Nonetheless, when anonymous commenters start throwing the words "blog" and "abandon" around, and I realize I haven't posted anything in ten days, mein gott, I figure it's probably about time to write something, whether it's fun or not.
Warning: This is a post about my loneliness. I know! Like, tell it to your Myspace page, right? Or, Livejournal called, it wants its post back. Mood: where is my frowny face emoticon?!
Right. You know what doesn't help? Watching indie movies about lonely outsiders who find that one other lonely outsider who is obviously perfect for them because they are both lonely and kind of messed up. Also not helping: sitting down with a bowl of popcorn in front of a Netflixed episode of Ally McBeal. Fade in to see... Ally sitting on the couch staring intently at the screen, munching on a bowl of popcorn. OH MY GOD, I AM A WALKING CLICHE. Although, if memory serves me Ally eventually gets to make out with Robert Downy Jr., whereas I am thinking that if I get to make out with anyone before the next presidential election it will be a minor miracle of sorts. Before the World Cup 2014? It's good to have goals.
To file under other feelings of growing despair: the simultaneous realization that at some recent point unbeknownst to you seemingly everyone in your new grad program has Facebook friended each other, and sort of relatedly, they are all talking about some movie they went to see last night. And this is when all those murmuring voices in your head that like to try to convince you that you are inherently unlikeable (and let's not even get started on loveable; it would take a team of psychologists I think at this point, and each of those psychologists would need another back-up team of psychologists just to handle the overflow), this is when those voices start banging on pots and pans and blowing into those New Year's Eve noisemakers and saying "Ha! I told you so!"
It is not a coincidence that I am posting at 11:00 p.m. on a Saturday night, is what I am saying. But there! I have posted! Are you happy?