Friday, May 21, 2010

Why it's déjà vu all over again

Ok, so not much time to write here. I have a midterm paper due Sunday at midnight that I haven't started and I work tomorrow and Saturday and Sunday and I'm a volunteer usher on Saturday night for You're a Good Man Charlie Brown which seemed like a good idea when I signed up for it four months ago, but whatever. Did I mention I haven't started this paper yet and how do I have a paper due when the class just started on Monday? but I guess that's what happens when you condense an entire semester-long course into two weeks. And I may have had a beer or two (but only two because I am a lightweight, except when I have five which is not the case tonight [really, I swear]) which may explain my altered writing style. Anyway. So James the Tool is out and Jimmy James is back in and that is what you need to know for the moment. James the Tool and I were friends again for about 72 hours before he proved himself yet again to be irreparably a tool, and only that long because we went about 70 of those hours without seeing each other. But that is another story for another day.

And suddenly Jimmy James is sending me google chat messages again, which, really? Because I took him off my chat list back in January when we ended things. So it was sort of out of the blue but not altogether unflattering. And these messages culminated in us getting the aforementioned two beers tonight at the diveiest (diviest?) of divey bars and getting unnecessarily rowdy playing Guess That Tune on the jukebox. All of which culminated in our casually hugging good night, and him saying, "Good night, Charlie Brown." And for this, you would have had to read comments on this post and this post, but basically commenter Kono, whose identity I don't know in real life, has taken to calling me Charlie Brown, which is endearing in a sort of wah wahhh sort of way, but still. No one has ever called me that before and then suddenly, in two days?

"What did you say?" I asked. *Squinty-eyed stare.*

"Uh, I said goodnight, Charlie Brown?" he said.

"But, why did you say that?" *Head tilt, suspicious look.*

"Because you mentioned the Charlie Brown thing?"

"Oh...right..." *Crazy eyes.* "Well, night then." (Next time I'll just throw out a "Kono," see how he responds.)

"So, you know, give me a call sometime, whatever." So casual. Ten minutes later he's texting me, telling me he would have invited me over but he wasn't sure how I'd respond, offering his services as a masseur. When the conversation took a turn for the steamy-- "Well if past history is any indicator," I responded, "you're never going to find out." Booyah! Teach you to not sleep with me ever again. You get the text-version smack down. Anyway that put a pretty handy damper on the conversation. Wah wahh.

Anyway, I'm starting to think James the Tool and Jimmy James are like Superman and Clark Kent. I've never seen them both in the same place at the same time, and as soon as I'm done with the one, the other pops up again to handily fill his place. So, goodnight Clark. Goodnight Jimmy James. Goodnight Kono. And never forget the words a wise man once told me: Wah wah wahh, wah wah wah, wahhhh.


  1. i think i'm about as delirious as you are right now, rach. i got a kick out of this post! it's 2:30am here, and i just finished writing a 53 page chapter and sent it to my advisor accompanied by a way-too-friendly email. oh, battery's dying..

  2. Hey, I'm a bit behind! This comment is really for your previous post, OK? I 'found' you when you were living in France and I was too. Now we're both back home, and both unsettled! Good things will happen for you. I am sure of it! You write really well and although I hardly blog at all now I like to keep up with a bit of reading of others' blogs. Good luck with everything.

  3. You forgot Goodnight Gorilla, which is a book i read Kid A every now and then, let me just say that i am honored and humbled to be mentioned here in the Diary, me, king of the run-on sentence and purveyor of brilliant nick-names, Kono is an acronym for the King Of North Oakland, a name given to me long ago when i wasn't the most upstanding citizen, now of course i'm on the straight and narrow except the trouble with the straight and the narrow is that i keep falling off to the side, i can also verify that i am not Jimmy James or James the Tool, just some guy living in Pittsburgh with a couple kids and three cats, a large bookshelf and not enough time or to much, i'm not sure... though i could be that the most interesting man in the world from the Dos Equis commercials, just a little younger and better looking :)

  4. hahahahahaha
    excellent post, great way to start my day drinking coffee and spitting it out through my nose.

    "That will teach you to never sleep with me again" hahahahahaha

    Have a great weekend!!!

  5. So... how are things going with Jimmy James?