Well, his ears must have been burning after my shout-out on yesterday's post, because guess which doritos-withholding former date from the Internet initiated a google chat with me yesterday, out of the blue? Why, yes, it was Mr. Hot-then-Cold Jimmy James himself. (Not to be confused with my once friend, the formerly Married Guy James, now known as James the Tool). I hadn't talked to him since our split back in January, but now, suddenly, he wants to know what I'm up to.
He was oh-so-casual, letting me know that he has since moved to Mythaca, and expressing the desire to maybe bump into each other "out" sometime. And suddenly I'm left thinking how ironic it all is, that I'm having almost exactly the same problem with Andrew now that I had with Jimmy James: they are (or were) both afraid of getting too close, too fast, only they express it in different ways. One wanted to share my bed but not his body, and the other one wants my body but not my bed. And the problem-solver in me is thinking, Hmmm, there's got to be a solution in here somewhere...
I mean, think about it--two half boyfriends pretty much equal one whole one, right? All I have to do is schedule it right, and I can have my doritos and eat them too! "Hey baby, whatcha doin'? Oh nothing, I was just hanging out with a friend. Wanna come over for a cuddle and a quick eight-hour snooze?" And voilà--everyone's happy. It's almost too perfect, right?
I jest, of course. (Or do I?) I mean, I would never stoop to such a thing. (Or would I?) No, no, definitely not. Although the thought alone has me rubbing my hands in glee and cackling like a cartoon villain. In any case, it's always good to have a back-up plan.