Thursday, December 3, 2009

Why I'm bewitched, bothered, and bewildered

So, in addition to confusing your and you're (also to/too, and there/their/they're, but hey, who's judging), it turns out that he works in sales and also coaches the lacrosse team at the local community college. He also plays volleyball and lacrosse competitively, a fact evidenced by a strong chest and lovely broad shoulders. (And Internet, I love me some broad shoulders.) Some Internet sleuthing turned up the fact that during his college years, in addition to graduating on the dean's list, he was elected Captain and MVP of his lacrosse team, and President of the Student Athletic Leadership team, and that's, umm, just a little bit hot. All that aside, however, it turns out that we don't really have much (read, anything) in common. He: hunts. Restores classic cars. Says he's an independent, but gentle probing reveals fairly conservative (gasp! ick! horror!) leanings. I've never seen him without a hat on. He doesn't really read. He likes music, but... different music. Internet, he has never eaten Indian food. I know. I know!

And yet... and yet... He's out there. He's weird, man. But he makes me laugh. On our first date he bombarded me with questions. When was your last relationship? Do you like to cuddle? Once I blinked back the shock, I decided to roll with it. Two and a half years ago. Yes. After we said goodnight he sent me a text: I have more questions for you. I smiled. I bet you do, I replied. We planned for a second date on Wednesday, but on Monday he texted, said he would be driving through Mythaca in a couple hours and hadn't eaten yet. Did I want to get something to eat? He didn't want to wait until Wednesday to see me. On our second date he asked me what my dream wedding would be like. (Weird! he is so weird!) "Haven't really thought about it," I said. Though obviously he had.

"It's just I've been to so many really fancy, boring weddings," he said. "What do you think about a theme wedding?"

"Like a luau?" I said dubiously.

"Or like a sock hop," he said. "Or something cool."

"A sock hop?" I replied increduously. "No. No way."

Then he invited me to his friend's New Year's Eve party, over a month away. I mumbled thanks and remained non-committal. One thing he didn't do was kiss me, though I would have kissed him, had wanted to ever since the first date.

On our third date he gave me a mix cd and invited me to come hang out with him at his parents' farm, an hour away. "I don't know if you'll want to drive down there and back," he said. "But, you could just spend the weekend there."

I gasped, choked a little, and then politely demurred.

He never lets me pay. Never, not once. After insisting that I at least pay for the movie last night, we hip-checked each other all the way to the ticket window, where he slid his card under before I could even get my purse unzipped. I know that as a good little feminist this should make me angry, but as a partially-employed French teacher in tough economic times, I am merely relieved, and grateful beyond words. And, really, I have not talked about money with him, just the fact that I am looking for a part-time job, and suddenly he turned serious and said, "Well if you ever need anything- and no, I mean it, money, anything- you tell me." I turned prune-faced and head-shakey, because of course, of course, I would never take money from him, not after three dates, not after three years, just, no. And it's not that he has so much money, because I'm pretty sure he doesn't, and I don't think he was trying to show off or impress me either, it's that he's just that...nice. Which is scary, because I'm sure he could find plenty of people out there to take advantage of his niceness. But, like I told you: he's weird, man.

He seems almost unbearably simple sometimes. He has simple tastes, simple desires. But then, he does have dreamy blue eyes and the most lickable smile. He texts me regularly throughout the day, and part of the night too. At first I hated it, but now I find myself looking forward to that tell-tale beep-beep of my phone. He's two years younger, playful, cute, and puppy dog eager. Internet, he made me a mix cd. And really, I don't know what's going on right now, I just know that I'm having a hell of a hard time concentrating on these damn tests that aren't going to grade themselves.

Oh, and after the third date- he kissed me. All I have to say is: more, please. More.


  1. Oooh la la! He sounds great! Although you need to fix this Indian food thing ASAP (I just found out that Inspector climate has never seen star wars...gulp)...

    I am so happy for you! A mixed cd - ADORABLE.

  2. I think I wrote this same comment on your last post: How cute are you???? (Again, rhetorical question, of course.)

    HAVE FUN!!!!!!!

  3. Yes! I am so excited to see where this leads. It's about damn time you caught a good one!

    And a mixed cd? God, that's so sweet it's almost sickening. But who doesn't love sweets?

  4. I say roll with it! A feminist to the core, I have no problem with a man who likes to treat me like a lady. Equality in the relationship doesn't mean he can't treat you. :)

    Most of the other differences seems like things that can be worked through in time. Honestly, sometimes it's a true blessing to have totally different interests - keeps things interesting. And well, the conservativism might be something you can talk through to some level of equilibrium. (I'm an optimist)

    But whatever on all that. Just have fun! Can't wait to hear more.

  5. Oh this sounds great. And you know there is that whole saying about opposites and attraction and all that.

    One of my best friends from college is in a similar situation. She's from the Lower East Side, NYC, and went to Buffalo, NY for law school. Where she promptly fell in love with a farmer. No lie, he's actually a farmer. They are as different as night and day. But it works somehow and they've been together for over a year now.

  6. Sounds plain delightful really! And interesting. Nothing better than being taken by surprise that frequently by someone. A keeper...well at least someone you need to take out for Indian food.

  7. this is exactly the post i needed after the day i have had! you deserve nice, kissable, and mix cd making. you deserve it!!!

  8. You totally deserve a huge helping of "nice"! Enjoy it!

  9. I say go with it, woman. You deserve a guy who is just *that* into you for a change!

  10. Nice, hot guy, that you makes you laugh, with beautiful strong shoulders, who is different and asks questions about you... Sounds like a perfect start to a new and exciting relationship. (And yes, nice guys can be exciting, expecially when they have lickable smiles and strong sexy shoulders.)

    Have fun!! :)

  11. He sounds super in to you and has all these great credentials, sounds good to me. I'm sure he's just asking lots of questions because he is really nervous. Just give him some time and he'll stop acting weird.

    Best of luck

  12. I hope *you're* lusty *intellect* is bewitched and bothered with this enigmatic gentleman!

  13. LOVE this!!!! Mix cd. Insists on paying. And most especially, that you have so little in common. I am married to the conservative that so freaked me out 15 years ago. I still dislike his politics, but otherwise we're good. Which sounds hard, but we deal with it. we learned long ago that we have so very little in common, but somehow it didn't matter. I never, ever would have thought I would be actually happily living with this person. Nothing in common works sometimes.

  14. Please post the track list of that CD so that we may judge him.

  15. Ya I don't know about him.

    He can be the nicest guy and you could like certain parts about him, but if you have to force the chemistry, or try to convince yourself to like him more than a friend, then it's simply not there.

    I've been in this exact position before. Nicest guy, treats me like a queen, cute, smart etc, but the thought of being with him intimiatly made my skin crawl.

    Is he only good on paper?
    Nothing wrong with it, if it's just not giving you butterflies.
    Good friend in the making!?

    ~Being Samiantha