Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Why sometimes you date, and sometimes you say, eff it, I haven't had sex in four months

Ok, ok, I'll put you out of your misery. The results of the two truths and one lie contest are in, and the only person to get it right was SV. Although technically she did guess twice, once as "this is what I wish happened," and once in classic Clue-the-movie type fashion, "but this is what I think really happened." Well guess what, SV- today is the day your wildest dreams (about me) come true! What can I say, your wish is my command. All of which is to say, of course, that...

...number one? Yeah, totally happened. And was just as quickly retracted and blamed on excessive alcohol consumption. (Four! whole! beers!
Consumed steadily over the course of four! whole! hours! Methinks someone doth exaggerate his drunkenness when it is convenient for him, is what I'm saying.) The whole thing has long blown over by now, and we are both pretending it didn't happen, while continuing a friendly flirtation from a safely removed distance.

And on to number two, which is also, of course, true. Without going into too much detail, I will say that it was a) fun while it lasted and b) ultimately doomed. Because as it turns out, contrary to my previous hypothesis, there is one cute, single guy my age left in the world, and he happens to live in North Carolina. Oh, right. That. And I knew that, but I still managed to somehow conveniently ignore the fact that he would be leaving after the weekend. So that when he left, rolled out of my bed in the morning with barely a goodbye, it still felt like a rejection of sorts, even though, my god, Rachel, get a grip, he doesn't live here, let it go. And though "We'll be in touch" probably means different things to different people, in his case I'm guessing it means either "I'll send you a text the next time I'm in town" or "You'll never see me or hear from me again." Only time will tell.

Though there is something to be said for developing a massive, heart-pounding crush on someone who's hot, smart, and bitingly funny, and then finding out that, really? The hottest, smartest, most bitingly funny guy I've met in a long time wants to sleep with me? And, this may reek of low self-esteem issues, but yes, given those circumstances I will take my clothes off every time. Which, thankfully, is not that often, as hot, smart, funny guys are increasingly rare these days.

As far as number three- what, go on an actual date with someone when I can just fall into bed with him the first chance I get? Ha! You guys give me waaaaaaay too much credit. But, for everyone who voted true on this one- thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt and assuming I'm not a slut. Or maybe you just figured the chances of me humiliating myself on a date were much higher than the likelihood of me getting any play. In which case, meh, you're probably right. This was clearly a fluke, and I'm sure I will soon be back to my usual bumbling, celibate self.

In other news, happy birthday today to my best friend, Talia! If you get a chance, pop over to her blog and wish her the very best.

Me and Tal, summer 2008
...and now I'm dead. By the time you read this, Tal has in all likelihood killed me for posting this picture. Avenge my death, Internet. Tell my story! Don't let me have died in vain!


  1. You two are adorable! I realllly like your necklace.

  2. i think you forget that i have a picture of you in a lamp shade at my scanners disposal...april 26th wont happen soon enough!!!

  3. Off topic... What was the name of that book you were reading before about a woman in Paris? Was it good?

  4. It's called Almost French by Sarah Turnbull. It's about an Australian woman who never thought she would live in France, but surprise surprise, she falls in love and ends up creating a new life in Paris. She has some good insights into French people and French culture, and I would say it's good but with books like this I just end being so bitterly jealous of the author that it kind of takes all the enjoyment out of it for me.

  5. I read the book! It was funny and I was jealous too, but hey, you could be her one day you realise. Seriously. Aaaah, dreams.