"Bonjour!" I said again brightly, trying to compose myself. "Je m'appelle Rachel [last name]..." I said, grabbing a dry erase marker and scribbling my name on the board, as several students gasped and interrupted me. "Um... that's not a white board," they said, their voices ricocheting off of each other in their haste. "That's a smart board." Though the board in question was by definition a white board, or a board that was white, anyway, apparently it was not the white board, which was located several inches to the left of the so called "smart board." I wasn't entirely sure what a smart board was, only that it sounded expensive, and like it could probably teach the class for me (and maybe do a better job at it), and that I had just defaced it with green marker. (Though it ended up wiping right off, so all's well that ends well.)
I muddled my way through the next two hours, handing out syllabi and hemming and hawing my way through questions I didn't know the answers to regarding scheduling and placement and online registration before promising to find out the answers and get back to them, and then sending them on their merry way. I then spent an astonishing amount of time (even for me) wandering around various parking lots looking for my car and getting rained on. I wouldn't have minded so much except that I was getting pretty wet (white skirt and all), because of course I didn't have my umbrella. Because it was in the car. (The car that I couldn't find.) I did finally find it sitting in the same wonky parking space I had left it (of course), and hey, what do you know- no ticket!
I decided to count the day as a success.
(And yes, my life is just as boring as this post would indicate, so, you know, different place, same old story. Though I did just see deer! through my bedroom window. I gasped out loud and it froze in place, listening. Then it went away and another one came, and then that one left and then a different one came, and then it peed! A deer peed in my yard! So you see, you never know what crazy shenanigans will happen next. Stay tuned, folks...)