Thursday, August 6, 2009

Why the excitement never ends around here

Today's post is brought to you by the word hebetude, my dictionary.com word of the day. Hebetude, meaning mental dullness or sluggishness. When used in a sentence, it goes a little something like: I have hebetude. So you will have to forgive me, because even I in my dull sluggishness recognize that what will follow does not actually count as material of substance. So bear with me, 'cause this is all I've got. And what I've got is...

Hair care disparity! Yes folks, I am a firm believer that like salt and pepp
er, ketchup and mustard, and The Office and 30 Rock, shampoo and conditioner should always go together, nice and coupled up-like. However this is the sorry state of affairs I find in my bathroom of late:

Other than the obvious assumption that someone in the house is suffering an identity crisis and doesn't know whether she wants to be blond or brunette, all you will see here is a rather reasonable number of shampoos, followed by...

Conditioner, conditioner, conditioner, conditioner, conditioner, conditioner, conditioner, conditioner, conditioner, conditioner, aaaaaannnnnnd (dear lord) conditioner. The only explanation I can find is that my sister suffers from a condition (egads with the unintended punnery) that I have just made up called "conditioner malaise." Apparently there is a bottle-shaped hole in her life that can only be filled with the promise of more volume, increased glossiness, and vibrant, long-lasting color. The fix never lasts for long, though, and soon she's on to something stronger, something newer, promising even more unrealistic results. Much like alcoholics hide their empties, the bathroom at our parents' house has become something of a conditioner graveyard where she drops by to dispose of things she'd rather forget, and then takes again off in a squealing of tires and a vague scent of coconut.

I am of two minds about this, as the miser in me delights in the fact that I clearly will not have to spend money on conditioner again for the rest of my natural life. However the rational, anti-clutter, Goodwill-donating minimalist in me screams that you don't buy something until you have already used up the something you alread
y have! (Five boxes of mint tea, indeed.)

In other news...


Hey, it's a cat in a bag! That's pretty cute, right? I took full advantage of the situation and waited anxiously for her to abandon her self-imposed, papery exile (hours; hours I waited), just so that I could say, loudly and disapprovingly, "Ok, who let the cat out of the bag?" My dad let out a brief chuckle. I counted the day a success.

9 comments:

  1. look, adversity is the stuff of good blogging. Just like my blog has become quite boring after my long battle to get my carte de sejour was won, I feel sure that we, your loyal readers, would lose something should things go smoothly for you! Nah, just kidding. You must be going quietly insane. Hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Boy, that move to New York just can't happen soon enough, can it?!?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh I loved this post...too funny! And I have managed to squeeze in as many hair products in my tiny apartment bathroom...one day, one day, I'll find the perfect shampoo/conditioner combo, til then, I'm going to try everything they have to offer at Carrefour.

    ReplyDelete
  4. vague scent of coconut is 30 rock worthy.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Cute! Funny post. I think they should make conditioner bottles smaller--I never use as much conditioner as shampoo. Well, now I never use conditioner because my hair gets too greasy...

    ReplyDelete
  6. awww..your kitty is just so darn cute!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow - The age old Conditioner Conundrum.

    I am familiar with this type of thing myself, although for me it happens with mascara (I only wear it like 12 times a year) but I am always wondering if there is something better out there that will make lashes curl and stay curled (Also known as The Deidre Mascara Debacle)

    ReplyDelete
  8. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    I would have waited days in order to say "Who let the cat out of the bag?" DAYS, I tell you! Love it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. deidre- fiber wig mascara seriously changed my life.

    ReplyDelete