Monday, March 16, 2009

Why an iguana is not at all like Tommy Lee Jones

The results from my two truths and one lie contest are in, and the only people to get all five correct were Talia and Jamie (on her second try, which I'm not sure exactly counts, Jamie). As I said before, what is interesting about this game are the things people choose to reveal about themselves as true. But what I am also finding out is that it is equally interesting to see what others choose to believe is true about you. For example, an iguana? An iguana? Really? Some of my closest friends would rather believe that I had a reptile as a pet than admit to the rugged, craggy charm of a certain Tommy Lee Jones. And now, a bit of a visual demonstration becomes necessary.

Iguana:

Tommy Lee Jones:
Hello, lover
Iguana:

I will eat your face off
Tommy Lee Jones:
I love a man in black
Iguana:
Don't turn out the lights
Tommy Lee Jones:
Let me smooth your furrowed brow

Ok, so now I think we've established that Tommy Lee Jones is clearly more awesome than an iguana. So, yes, I've been a Tommy Lee Jones fan for a long time now. I loved him as the strong but silent type, when he played the tough-as-nails Woodrow Call in Lonesome Dove (which remains one of my favorite mini-series of all time). And who didn't love him and his no nonsense, alien butt kicking attitude in Men in Black? But I think it was while watching the uber-depressing Heaven and Earth that I first thought...Hello, hotness.

In fact, one of the best birthday presents I ever received was a photo of me and TLJ. You see, my dad used to own a photo store, and...you remember photo stores, right? You would bring in your roll of film to be developed, and then an hour later you would come back and pick up your 24 prints? My dad jumped into the troubled sea of negatives and film canisters just in time to watch the photo developing industry crumble around him, what with the advent of digital cameras and all, but that is perhaps a story for another day...In any case, he had one of his friends helping him out with the business, and it was this friend who bestowed upon me this most treasured of gifts. Apparently one day I had brought in a roll of film to be developed, which included some shots of me and my then boyfriend in France. (This was before I found out he had been diddling his not-so-much-ex girlfriend for the entire duration of our relationship. Whatever. Bygones). And so this friend of my dad, he secretly made a copy of the photo and carefully photoshopped over the boyfriend's face (which is for the best, really) with a young and hot Tommy L. J. He framed the whole shebang and gave it to me on my 23rd birthday, in the presence of the then-boyfriend, who was perhaps not so pleased to have been photoshopped completely out of the picture. I, however, was pleased as punch, and did that whole laughing/crying thing, that is how much I loved it. Because, me and Tommy Lee Jones 4-ever, squee!! I am so sad that I don't have access to that picture today, because I'd love to show it to you. But with the magic of digital photography, I am able to fabricate an inexact replica of that photoshopped photo, and it looks a little something like this...
(Sorry, Tal).
Rachel and Tommy Lee Jones 4-ever. Squee!!

9 comments:

  1. I was so close! I loved the comments on that post extra lots.

    I was actually an extra in a Tommy Lee Jones movie - Man of the House. (Maybe we could pretend it was a different TLJ movie, and your readers will still respect me?) I'm not allergic to bees.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love Mr. Jones. I think it's the eyes. Those smoldering eyes . . .

    ReplyDelete
  3. Passed by and really enjoyed this post. Had such a god laugh. Give my love to the Iguana.......

    ReplyDelete
  4. oh god that makes SO Much more sense, i was thinking of that other tommy lee...of course i remember your weird tlj crush thing. you, my love, are an enigma wrapped in a puzzle wrapped in a sweater. miss you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Tommy looks good. Why compare him with an iguana?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Drive-by commenters. Sheesh! (I'm looking at you, Kitchen Gadgets). Why, indeed.

    Tal: Yes, the Jones does make all the difference there, doesn't it? Otherwise it's just gross!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jane: Seriously, stop. So, really? You were an extra in a film with Tommy Lee Jones??? I may have to come to Austin and like, lick your arm or something.

    So what's he like??? Did you see him??? Did you breathe the same air??? Tell me!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dude. Have you seen that movie "Kissing Jessica Stein?" The girl has this theory about ugly-sexy. Like guys who are so ugly they are sexy.

    He totally falls into the category of ugly-sexy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I don't normally comment on fifteen-month old posts, but I wanted to say that I'm positive that the TLJ in your replica photo is from The Eyes of Laura Mars, and that I think it's a little sad that I know that.

    ReplyDelete