Saturday, February 14, 2009

Why there's a hole where my heart should be

A year ago today I was in Boston. I probably read a bit of French literature, I might have stared out of my window a bit, maybe took a nap, stupidly contacted my ex, and then had a bit of a break-down. Well in case you were wondering where you would be in a year, Valentine's Day 2008 Rachel, this is your future....

Today I attempted to head the Valentine's Day blahs off at the pass with some retail therapy. I headed over to the rue de Rivoli and found a shoe store that was closing and selling off its inventory. All boots 30€! And lo and behold, in a sea of tiny size 36's was one lone pair of size 40's calling out my name. I thought they were quite rocking, although now I can't tell if they're more totally sweet or unforgivably clodhoppery. And the survey says...?

A little bit of both? Well I don't care, 'cause they were only 30€! Also, they add on at least another inch and a half to my height, which is just what every 5'10" girl needs, ya know? Because why not limit your dating pool just a little bit more? (More like a dating puddle, at this point). Also, wow those suckers track in a lot of mud. (That'll teach me to go stomping around in my dating puddle).

I got such a good deal at the shoe store that I thought, Hey, instead of eating and going to museums when I go to Spain next week, why don't I blow an irresponsible sum of money at H&M now instead? And you know, that's just what I did. I may go to Spain a penniless pauper, but dammit, at least I will look good doing it. It really wasn't my fault, you see, because you know how sometimes you can go to H&M every week for three months and there's nothing at all you want to buy, and you try things on anyway because you really want to buy something, but nothing, and I mean nothing looks good or is in any way appealing? And then all of a sudden one day you go and there's like ten things you want to buy, and they all look good on you? I really think this is some law of the universe, along with Murphy's Law and the one that says the only guy who's going to call you back is the one you didn't like; either you will buy nothing at H&M, or you will buy everything at H&M, and you never know ahead of time which one it's going to be. But my personal philosophy says strike while the H&M iron is hot, because you never know when you're going to go into another three month clothing drought.

So, in case you were wondering, Valentine's Day 2008 Rachel, after that I came home and baby-sat my roommate's kid for the next several hours, while he went to a rugby match in Paris with his other kid. I just can't get away from the toddlers lately, it seems. The difference being that when it's your roommate's kid, when the parent comes home, you don't get to leave. It's like the baby-sitting job that never ends! When I eat dinner...the kids are there. When I go to bed...the kids are there. When I wake up in the morning...yup! Still there! And in case you have forgotten that they are still there, they like to remind you by making a hell of a lot of noise. All the time! Snips and snails and puppy dog tails, and vrooming, beeping motorized toys, and powerful sets of lungs...that's what little boys are made of.

So, then my roommate and his other kid came home, we ate dinner, and then we watched Beethoven. Did you know David Duchovny is in Beethoven? Because I surely did not, and he is so ridiculously young as to be hardly recognizable. Also, his girlfriend is played by the woman who plays the mom in Everybody Loves Raymond, and how weird a couple is that?

Anyway, after Beethoven I played computer chess while havoc was wreaked all around me, then I took some pictures of my shoes, and now I'm going to bed. I know. I know! My life is so exciting you can't even stand it! At the moment I might even be feeling quite a bit more desperately lonely than the generally humorous nature of this post might let on. So if you spent tonight with someone you love, or living up the single life out on the town with friends and libations, it's not that I hate you, exactly, it's just that I don't want to hear about what a fabulous time you had, or at least for a few days.

So, Rachel of Valentine's Day 2008, if you were hoping to hear how much more amazing your life gets, and how your path to the future is paved with rose petals and gum drops, well...I'm sorry, it's just not true. And though this year may be blissfully lacking in ill-advised attempts at communication with the ex, in terms of this hollow, echo-y feeling inside of my chest, I'm going to have to call it a draw. So there it is, one year ago Rachel, your future: not any worse, just differently bad!

Now if you'll excuse me, I believe I have a half-empty glass somewhere that needs tending to.

13 comments:

  1. Aw, don't be sad! Your blog post made me giggle out loud. You are in France, and therefore cooler than any of those of us over here that are out on silly dates.

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  3. Sorry... I double posted. I am bad at the Internets!

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  4. Oh you write so well! And oh how I can relate to so much of that! Love the boots.

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  5. Well, you can always hope Valentine's Day 2010 Rachel will have a happier story to tell Valentine's Day 2009 Rachel, right??

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  6. Yeah, I guess that's all I can do, huh? :)

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  7. If it makes you feel any better, that's what I'm trying to do too!

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  8. But you live in France and are going to Barcelona in a few! How cool is that?

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  9. oh man I love H+M too...I don't want to admit how much of my hard-earned teaching money I've spent in there. Damn them and their trendy yet affordable clothes!

    Have a great time in Spain! I could use a va-cay right now, so I'm going to vicariously sip mojitos through you.

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  10. I frigging love your new boots.

    I totally dropped a wad of cash on Friday on new clothes. But sometimes a girl's just got to make herself feel special, you know? And, I reasoned, I wasn't spending any money on a Valentine's date, so I might as well invest in making myself look/feel better.

    Go you.

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  11. around about the 3rd time i was dumped by ross, my mom discovered the amazing power of that clothing store that was right next to mr. wizard toys in germantown. its hard to feel heart broken while holding a bag! forever 21 here i come!! chin up rach. one day we will find the hidden tribe of non retarded men.

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  12. Rachel, those boots kick all sorts of ass. Plus, you're going to Spain, which makes me very jealous of you.

    So when can I come visit you in France?!

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  13. I´m sending out an open invitation right now to any and all persons who would like to come visit me in France. Just tell me when. .)

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