Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Why there's only one reason I want to sweat on a date, and this isn't it

I've been e-mailing back and forth with a hot new online prospect, and it got to the point where we started to talk about meeting in person. We could go get a drink, I suggested. Ok, he replied, either that or we could go for a run. Do you like to run? I love to run, especially when I have company. I hedged, saying that while I do run on occasion, I don't tend to run much in the winter, but what I was thinking was, Are you serious? I cannot imagine a more horrifying first date experience than showing up in sweatpants, which also happen to perform double duty as my pajamas. I repeat, I would be showing up to a first date in my pajamas. Kind of like that nightmare where you're at school and realize you're in your underwear. So do you know what he countered with? Can you even guess? Swimming! New guy, you are killing me.

I didn't know it was just me or this kind of first date activity passes for normal here, so I ran it past my roommate, Fred, and his friend who was visiting for the weekend. "Yeah, so I'm supposed to meet this new guy," I said. Oh yeah? they said. "Yeah. He proposed going for un footing," I added casually, and then watched for a reaction. It didn't take long. Fred and his friend looked at each other and then fell over in uncontrollable laughter. Un footing?! they hooted. Oh yeah, can you imagine? You're huffing and puffing, you can't even have a conversation. And then you're sweating, and he's all, 'Oh, why don't you come back to my place for a shower?' Actually, this guy's got it all figured out! Yeah, he knows what he's doing. I think I'm going to try that next time! Un footing! But seriously, Fred added, where do you find these guys?

So, between the health nut fanatacism and the fact that he works nights, thus limiting the hours we can meet each other to between 7 and 9 p.m., I think I'm going to chalk this one up to the probably-not-going-to-work-out pile. And another one bites the dust.


I played a homemade version of the game Taboo with my students today, and at the end we played a lightning round with "world" as the target word. "It's bigger than a city..." I began, "it's bigger than a country...it's bigger than a continent..."

"Love!" shouted out one of my students, and I had to laugh. And although it was due more to a linguistic misunderstanding than some sweepingly romantic worldview, it tickled me all the same.

Love, it's bigger than all the countries on all the continents in the world. Or so says the fresh-faced young sixteen-year-old. Meanwhile the jury's still out for this almost 29-year-old old maid. But it's a nice thought, nonetheless.


  1. Un footing? Tell him to stick his left foot in, stick his left foot out... He's all hokey-pokey.

    (No, I have no idea what that comment really means. I just woke up from a well-deserved nap and feel a bit, um, deranged.)

  2. Ummm, running is definitely no ones idea of a good first date. And quite frankly if its his you are better off looking for someone whose sane :-)

  3. Oh I would never, NEVER go running on a date. I'll barely go running with Achilles. This may have more to do with the fact that I'm an embarrassingly slow runner than anything else, but still. What a weird suggestion for a first date.

  4. My current lover and I went bicycling of our first date. And we managed to hold hands while biking. Tres romantique! I think a jog would be ok, but I approve of sweatpants for any occasion.

  5. Erin, I cannot help but picture you as Molly Shannon in that SNL sketch a ways back with Will Ferrell, all, "My looooooovvver and I..." And I mean that in the best of ways! I love it! :)

    Also, a bicycle date sounds a million times more romantic than running. Maybe I should propose that instead!

  6. I hate to correct you, my dear, but I must; it was not Molly Shannon in that sketch but RACHEL Dratch, who is often featured on our beloved 30 Rock. Just so you know that you share something with the loooovers other than a delight in greasy goat-meat.

  7. Egads, Canaan, you're right! How could I have made such an amateur mistake?! I believe I was confusing that sketch with the Molly Shannon one where she's fifty and fabulous. ("I'm fiiiiifty!")

    The old memory, she's not what she used to be.