What I saw today: a woman in the street unironically wearing a tiara
What I heard today: a prim and proper French woman call shredded cheese "raped cheese"
What I am covered in today: sand and toddler saliva (someone's a licker)
What I got chastised for by prim and proper French woman today: overly hasty tearing of tin foil-wrapped cookies makes it difficult to properly re-close; next time be more careful
Phone call I wish someone had thought to make today: the one telling me not to bother coming in to school today because the teacher was sick and they value my time too much to let me get up at 6:00 in the morning and spend over two hours on trains for nothing
Reason I am cranky today: see above