I recently ran across some pictures I took of myself in my childhood bedroom when I was testing out my new laptop with its built-in web cam about a month or so ago. I'm going to show them to you, but that just shows how much I trust you, Internet, how comfortable I feel around you, because believe me when I say, these are not the most flattering pictures in the world. (I mean, we're not talking post-dental work unflattering here, but still). I usually try to keep a pretty professional demeanor around here, but after the bird poop on the head incident I figured, well, you've all been witness to me at my worst, and you've stuck with me, so why hold anything back? And so, I present to you a piece I like to call...
Which shoulder is higher, I ask you? Which one???
Yes, that is a thimble collection on the wall, you wanna make something of it?
God, I'm easily amused.
Now, I believe the correct response when you come across someone in this condition is to lie them down, loosen their collar, and place a wooden spoon in their mouth until the twitching stops.
And now, Internet, you have been privy to the deepest, innermost, and tongue-iest parts of my soul. And the web cam has officially been retired.