Mission Perfect Reunion Outfit, aka Eat Your Heart Out, Class of 1998: Accomplished.
(At this point I should mention that if you are of the male persuasion, you may just want to skip over this post altogether. I mean, there's no mention of feminine products or anything, but I just don't see how what I am about to talk about would be of any interest to anyone with a Y-chromosome. You have been warned).
And Internet, I know it's totally uncouth to talk about how much you paid for something, but we're all friends here, are we not? And if you know me even a little bit by now, you know that I am not the type that can pass up a bargain. And if you've spent even a little bit of time with me, then you know that once a bargain has been attained, I will not stop talking it. Just try to make me stop talking about it, you can't. Friends and acquaintances are all, yes, you're cheap, we get it already. I'm like a one-woman T.J. Maxx commercial. (None of my recent purchases were actually made at T.J. Maxx). But that's what happens after two years of being a grad student followed by three months of unemployment, I suppose. I may not have received a paycheck since mid-June, but a girl's still gotta dress, ya know?
On that note I invite you to Look at Some Pretty Things and Gape Incredulously at How Little I Paid For Them. Case in point:
One 10-year reunion dress, purchased at Minimarket in Brooklyn, NY. On sale for $34.
Rest assured, it is short. It is indeed quite thigh-baringly short.
Moving on...one pair of off-white wedge heels from the Banana Republic Outlet store, on sale for...wait for it...
To all those old-fashionistas out there who think you can't wear white shoes after Labor Day, thus reducing my awesome find to a truly bargain basement price...thank you. (Stacy and Clinton say wearing white after Labor Day rocks! So there!) And oh, they're patent leather. Oh yes. Also, I know it's hard to tell in the photo, but these shoes sport a near-4" wedge heel. Which, given that I measure in at 5'9 1/2" on a slouchy day, are not entirely necessary, and in fact may very well carry me right on into freak mode. But do I care? I do not. What with the short short nature of the dress and the tall tall nature of the shoes, we create an effect I like to call All Leg. I call it my "I May Have Been a Nerd in High School But Look at Me Now" outfit.
One off-white (faux) leather clutch from Target, $20. I'm not entirely sure about this one though, because with the shoes I'm afraid it's a little matchy-matchy. Although at the same time, it's about two shades darker than the shoes, so on the other hand I'm afraid it's not matchy enough. So yes, I am simultaneously worried that it is too matchy-matchy and yet not matchy enough. Thoughts?
My mom has been taunting me with talk of a gold clutch she supposedly owns, and then, unsurprisingly, has not actually been able to produce. My mom has been rocking the mom jeans and patriotically-themed t-shirt look for well on 28 years now, so what is surprising to me is not that somewhere she still has a 30-some year-old gold clutch (and given her penchant for hoarding, that's not actually surprising at all), but rather that at one point she actually had occasion to use a gold clutch. At what point do the mom jeans come into play, anyway? Is it right after giving birth, or does it take a few years to kick in?
Also, does anyone else get the heebie-jeebies from the very idea of fuzzy toilet seat covers? Does anyone else think that they just scream germs! and bacteria!? Does anyone else have no freakin' idea why these things even exist? Just in case you ever decide to sit on the can with the lid down, your bottom will be warm and cushioned? I'll tell you who does not agree with my Campaign Against the Unsanitary Nature and Otherwise Complete Uselessness of Fuzzy Toilet Seat Covers: my mother. I can't tell you the number of times I've disappeared this thing. It comes back every time.
And lastly, one gold bracelet from Saks Fifth Avenue Off 5th Outlet, on sale for $20. A bit of a splurge, admittedly, but I got such a great deal on the shoes!
(Dress from Zara, on sale, $35).
10-year high school reunion, here I come! (In T-6 days and counting).
Today's post and shopping extravaganza sponsored by my mother, and the fine folks at Discover. (Who did not actually sponsor today's post or shopping extravaganza, just to be clear. Though they have always been my family's card of choice. (5% cashback!) Although...maybe next time, huh, Discover people? Who loves ya, baby?) And in spite of my occasional tendency to become annoyed by my mother's hoarding habits and fuzzy toilet seat cover fixation, it turns out that she can actually be pretty nice to me, sometimes. (I can't speak for the Discover people). ((Yet)).