To file under "Texts Sent to Me by My Sister, Who When Encouraged to Send More to 'Flesh Out' This Entry Clammed Up Immediately, Thanks Sis:"
Embrace ur inner librarian
My ass is bleeding. u should do thick bangs, kinda fringey.
I just saw your glamour twin
Yesterday Bobby told me i look like i have a nipple on the side of my face.
I have to poo im scared
I hope when we get old we have hobbies or gossip to talk about. Let's never let it get to gird
A lesson for us all, really. Please, people, no matter whatever is or isn't going on in your personal life, just remember that, as my sister so adeptly points out, there is never any reason to talk about your GIRD. If pressed, nipple-shaped pimples and ass blood can serve as valid topics of conversation, but for heavens sake, save the GIRD for your doctor's office. I mean, ew.
(I'm re-thinking hitting publish on this entry. I mean, I'll post it anyway, but at least know that I have my serious doubts about it. I'll write something better later, promise).