Monday, February 25, 2008

Why if I play my cards right, I may never have to house-sit again

Now, Internet, we know each other fairly well by now, don't we? So, let's assume you have just returned home from a restful week in L.A., to find that I, your friendly neighborhood house-sitter, have faithfully fed, watered, and exercised your dog, retrieved your mail, protected your home from intruders, and even dutifully composted my banana peels. Now, Internet, if I said to you, "Ok, I'm about done here. I just need to clean out my pot and I'll be on my way," would you a) assume I had made some pasta and left the pot to soak in the sink or b) gasp loudly, exclaim What?! and scurry off to check your dog's pupils?

And, knowing me as you do, when faced with the second reaction, do you think I would clarify you as to your mistake, or reply, "Oh, I thought you guys were cool?"

Or, at least, can you guess which one I wish I had said?


  1. The correct answer, of course, is (a). Because you have all the hip, urban street style of Mr. Rogers without the sweater. You're a total sweetheart, which is why you're really, really cool after all.

  2. I can't imagine you being anything more than sweet.

  3. There goes my street cred. *Sigh.*

  4. obviously, they're too cool! *rolls eyes at annoying people who obviously need more vacation*

  5. This person was in LA? Home of Snoop Dogg and decriminalized "medicine"? Humph. Semantically, it's all wrong. And it's so obvious that you've only really smoked the wacky tobaccy that once. A true slacker housesitter (who, say, threw a giant party and allowed cherished items of the family's to be smashed in the gutter, along with allowing the dog to eat the arm off the couch) would OBVIOUSLY say "I need to clean out my stash." Cleaning pot out does nothing good. Unless you're cleaning it out of your me. You've gotta love that you still have NORML friends!

  6. atleast the dog was cute...